The world's least convincing spam e-mail

[Autocar Publicity]

I think it's always a bit of a giveaway when the senders claim to be from a bank which you don't deal with. There's probably lost tribes in the Amazon who've heard of the Nigerian who needs help with his father's will/selling his business/wrongly confiscated goods. But when you receive an e-mail purporting to be from the IMF - well, sure... Is this the work of a teenager with too much time on his hands or someone who really expects anyone to fall for this?

ATTN: BENEFICIARY,
This is to intimate you of a very important information which will be of a great help to redeem you from all the difficulties you have been experiencing in getting your long over due payment due to excessive demand for money from you by both corrupt Bank officials and Courier Companies after which your fund remain unpaid to you.
I am Mr. Benny Wright a highly placed official of the International Monetary Fund (IMF). It may interest you to know that reports have reached our office by so many correspondence on the uneasy way which people like you are treated by Various Banks and Courier Companies across Europe to Africa and Asia and we have decided to put a stop to that and that is why i was appointed to handle your transaction here in London UK.
All Governmental and Non-Governmental Parastatals, NGOs, Finance Companies, Banks,Security Companies and Courier companies which have been in contact with you of late have been instructed to back up from your transaction and you have been advised NOT to respond to them anymore since the IMF is now directly in charge of your payment. You are hereby advised NOT to remit further payment to any institutions with respect to your transaction as your fund will be transfered to you directly from our source. I hope this is clear. Any action contrary to this instructions is at your own risk.
Respond to this with immediate effect and we shall give you further details on how your fund will be released.
Regards,
Mr. Benny Wright
INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND.

[60041]

My - you are lucky!
I hope you have sent off all your bank details as soon as you could, there is a fortune waiting for you.
You will be able to finish the restoration of the Autocar and have enough left over to build a replica Sentinel as well.
I have already sent my bank details to the nice young girl in Lagos who needed my help in getting US$13,000,000 out of Nigeria, and am just waiting for the money to arrive in my account.

[giner]

LOL! Too bad you gave them my account number, though, 60041.

[redtoon1892]

I get these by the dozen on Hotmail, the Nigerian astronaut trapped in space being the choice one,another one is a former F.B.I. agent with secret gangsters bank accounts.

[60041]

I get these by the dozen on Hotmail, the Nigerian astronaut trapped in space being the choice one,another one is a former F.B.I. agent with secret gangsters bank accounts.

Come on now - the one about the astronaut sound too good to keep to yourself, you have got to share that one with the rest of us.

[Autocar Publicity]

I get these by the dozen on Hotmail, the Nigerian astronaut trapped in space being the choice one,another one is a former F.B.I. agent with secret gangsters bank accounts.

The first would probably trump my OP! Sounds most intriguing...

[Blink Bonny]

Ay up!

I have a problem.

I have a friend in Nigeria. And one in Senegal. And one in Zambia. They all say the same thing. However, the BBC knows nothing of all the revolutions apparently going on in these countries.

I'll leave it all in the capable hands of this Benny Wright chap and if the funds get mixed up, he's the responsible one!

Seriously these things MUST get some thicko - otherwise, why waste time sending 'em in the first place.

But like the Irish computer virus.

I am a virus.

1) Send this message to everyone in your answer book.

2) Now delete all the files on yer hard drive!

Its a cracker!!

[richard]

A well known variant of these "Nigeria" scam is a gold one.
Here's a fairly famous tale of someone out-doing such a scammer at their own game:

http://www.onlygold.com/Articles/ayr_20 ... caScam.asp

They managed to get an assay sample of gold dust from the scammer. ("see the gold is real, although you have to do is wire me X dollars and we can share in the profits" type of thing)


Richard

[giner]

Blink, I reckon they're onto your renowned Yorkshire wallet.

[Blink Bonny]

Ay up!

I'm worried. The wallet has bought a return ticket to Nigeria.

Should cure this crop of scammers anyway!

[60800]

ATTN: BENEFICIARY,
This is to intimate you of a very important information which will be of a great help to redeem you from all the difficulties you have been experiencing in getting your long over due payment due to excessive demand for money from you by both corrupt Bank officials and Courier Companies after which your fund remain unpaid to you.
I am Mr. Benny Wright a highly placed official of the International Monetary Fund (IMF). It may interest you to know that reports have reached our office by so many correspondence on the uneasy way which people like you are treated by Various Banks and Courier Companies across Europe to Africa and Asia and we have decided to put a stop to that and that is why i was appointed to handle your transaction here in London UK.
All Governmental and Non-Governmental Parastatals, NGOs, Finance Companies, Banks,Security Companies and Courier companies which have been in contact with you of late have been instructed to back up from your transaction and you have been advised NOT to respond to them anymore since the IMF is now directly in charge of your payment. You are hereby advised NOT to remit further payment to any institutions with respect to your transaction as your fund will be transfered to you directly from our source. I hope this is clear. Any action contrary to this instructions is at your own risk.
Respond to this with immediate effect and we shall give you further details on how your fund will be released.
Regards,
Mr. Benny Wright
INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND.

Grammar that bad makes me want to puke

[Blink Bonny]

Ay up!

That'll be the on-line translator program that just translates the words, not the grammer.

For example if you translate "I'm hot" straight in German when chatting up a German bird, you get your face slapped. You have to say, "It is, to me, hot" instead. Then it may work out the way you planned...

[Autocar Publicity]

Actually, shouldn't you get a disappointed look instead? (Hopefully!) As you've just confessed to being gay. Surely it's when you say "Du bist..." that you need to duck?

[Blink Bonny]

Ay up!

Clearly the slang has changed. Its a while since I learned German.

Du bist heiss? That's bogling yer nadgers territory! Stand well back....

[coachmann]

Editted coachmann 10.10.11