Made me smile

[giner]

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later."

The nun agreed...

A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?"

The nun replied, "He went that way."

After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough, sister. You see, I don't want to go to Syria."

The nun said, "I understand completely."

The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"

The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls…. I don't want to go to Syria either."

[giner]

The England football team visited an orphanage in Wolverhampton today.
“It’s heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,” said Ben, age six.

[manna]

G'Day Gents

[Mercator II]

[TrevorJ]

This is the wrong shape. Everyone knows pies are squared.

[croesnewydd]

This discussion has become irrational. Everyone knows that pi(e) is not a real number.
One moment it is there, the next it is gone!

John

[giner]

That's the way it is in our house too, John.

[WTTReprinter]

I wish I could make a pi(e) that was infinite. Never have to go hungry then!

[kudu]

This discussion may be irrational but it is still real. Unreal numbers do my head in so if anyone tries going down that root I'll have to give them a pizza my mind.

Kudu

[burnie]

Do you start sweating and trembling when you fill up with petrol?
You have carowner virus.

[giner]

I don't take anything serious in the newspaper, only fish and chips. And I take that with a pinch of salt.

[manna]

G'Day Gents

[Mercator II]

[giner]

So I asked this Irish farmer, "Which is the quickest way to Cork?"

He asked, "Would yese be waliking or driving?" So I told him I was driving, and he says, "Yes, that would be the quickest way."

[giner]

Tried using a spellchecker today, urined everything.