Made me smile

[giner]

I was just thinking that, with the rising popularity of self-driving vehicles, there'll soon be a country and western song where some guy's truck leaves him.

[Mercator II]

[manna]

G'Day Gents

[Mercator II]

[giner]

I went to the doctor and told him I wanted something for my liver. He gave me a pound of onions.

[manna]

G'Day Gents

[Mercator II]

[giner]

I've been getting spammed in Messenger by this guy called Buster. He keeps sending me videos of songs by the '70's band, The Sweet.
Does anyone know a way, there's got to be a way, to block Buster.Seriously I just Haven't got a Clue what to do!!!

[Mercator II]

[giner]

Woman goes to the doctor to ask about implants because at age 22 she's got no chest. Doc says, "I don't like the idea of surgery for that, but when I was training in Australia I learned that some aboriginal women used to do this: Every morning just twiddle your nipples and repeat five times saying 'oobie doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies' ."

She gets up late one morning, no time for the ritual. So she gets on the bus, goes upstairs and there's a bloke sitting right at the front. There's no-one else up there so she goes right to the back, lowers herself into the seat and quietly starts twiddling and chanting.

The bloke up the front turns and says, "Excuse me, but have you been seeing Dr. Smith in the High St.?" She says, "I have. Why do you ask?"
He says, "Well, hickory dickory dock . . . "

[Chas Levin]

Feeling a bit sad today - our hamster died: he fell asleep at the wheel...

[giner]

I thought the wife was joking when she said she wanted to go and see a Monkees tribute band in Switzerland. "Then I saw her face, now I'm in Geneva."

[Mercator II]

[giner]

My mate just got arrested for pinching helium balloons
the police held him for a while, then let him go.

[Mickey]

That sounds like a BBC radio one Tony Blackburn kind of joke from 1970 giner ha ha ha...