Made me smile

[giner]

I picked up a hitch-hiker last night. He said, “Thanks, but you’re taking a bit of a risk. How do you know I’m not a serial killer?”
I told him, “Come on now, what are the odds of having two serial killers travelling in the same car?"

[manna]

G'Day Gents

[giner]

Scouser on holiday in northern Canada goes into a bar. Sat in the corner was this big Indian chief who was known as the Memory Man. I'll test this bloke out, thinks the scouser. "Who won the FA Cup in 1965?" he says. Straight back the Memory Man says, "Liverpool, 1-0, Ian St. John." The scouser's well impressed.

Two years later, the scouser's back in the same bar, walks up to the Memory Man and greets him with, "How!"

The Memory Man says, "Diving header."

[manna]

G'Day Gents

Like that one.

[manna]

G'Day Gents

[giner]

Guide to human chromosomes:

XX = Female
XY = Male
YYY = Delilah.

[giner]

I was out in my herb garden yesterday. Could've sworn I heard the BeeGees singing, but it was just the chives talkin'.

[giner]

I started a new band yesterday called 999 Megabytes. We haven't got a gig yrt.

[manna]

G'Day Gents

Bom Bom...........

[giner]

A psychologist is conducting group therapy with three couples. He says, "Today we'll discuss your obsessions."

He says to first fella, "You're obsessed with money, you even married a woman named Penny."

To the second fella he says, "You're obsessed with food, you even married a woman named Olive."

The third fella turns to his wife and says, "That's it. We're out of here, Fanny, we're not here to get insulted."

[giner]

Mate of mine got fired from his job on the dodgems. He's doing them for funfair dismissal.

[manna]

G'Day Gents

[manna]

G'day Gents

[giner]

My friend is in hospital after falling over and getting part of the hoover in his mouth.
I just called to see how he is and they said He's picking up!

[giner]

And why should you never buy a pair of jeans from Ukraine?

Because Chernobyl fall out.