The LNER Encyclopedia

I had an appointment today which I went to by train. Since I knew my travel expenses would be re-imbursed I specifically requested a receipt from the self service machine I got my ticket from.

When I presented it to the receptionist at the end of my interview she said "You'll have to photocopy that". When I asked why she invoked the mythical "They" stupid people are often prone to call upon when put in an untenable position.

"They'll only accept photocopies"! Two staples, a sheet of A4 and the original receipt (together with a bit of common sense) look sufficient to me.

Queueing up to photocopy something I didn't need to made me miss the train home and caused a 30 minute wait for the next one. I wasn't happy.

Then people ask me why I don't trust idiots with GCSEs rather than proper qualifications like O-Levels

well thats a relief , i thought things like that only happened to me , its one of the joys of living , especialy when your over pensionable age !
as for the O's ,A's and other fancy qualifications and the i can do that brigade , what training have they , ho' I forgot 6 month's at a technical collage

mr B

Bit harsh, surely she was just doing her job and was doing what she'd been told by someone else?

Think yourself lucky you get your expenses for travelling to interviews. Some of us are expected to go all over the place out of our own pocket.

limitofshunt wrote:Bit harsh, surely she was just doing her job and was doing what she'd been told by someone.

It gets better though. My fare was £5.90, so I handed over the photocopy together with two 5p pieces. "What are you giving me those for?" the receptionist barked and pushed them back across the counter at me.

Then, when she opened the petty cash tin she found plenty of £5 notes and £1 coins but not enough small change to make 90p

"Have you got 10p on you?" she asked. I was tempted to reply "No. Only two 5p pieces", and now regret I didn't

There are times when you should give in to temptation...

Mr Bunt wrote: My fare was £5.90, so I handed over the photocopy together with two 5p pieces. "What are you giving me those for?" the receptionist barked and pushed them back across the counter at me.

Then, when she opened the petty cash tin she found plenty of £5 notes and £1 coins but not enough small change to make 90p

"Have you got 10p on you?" she asked. I was tempted to reply "No. Only two 5p pieces", and now regret I didn't

A few weeks ago, I bought something that cost £11.25, so I handed the girl a £20 note and £1.25; she looked puzzled, then got up, walked across the shop to the other till and came back with a calculator and started punching buttons. Eventually she handed me back my £1.25 and then counted out £8.75 in change from the till. I was too gobsmacked to say anything!

I wanted some coal to keep the signalbox warm. There was a pallet outside the shop with a big sign saying £3.99 for a ten kilo bag.

I walked up to the counter and asked for 100 kilos. The chap behind the counter shot off for help. He returned and said ''sorry we only sell in ten kilo bags'' then this little light came on just above his head and he said ''you can have ten bags'' and i said ''ok''

He rang it into the till and said ''that will be £43.89 please'' I said ''that's 11 bags''

We then had a hopeless debate about simply moving the decimal place. The manager eventually attended with a calculator to settle the dispute and to get the queue moving again. I left with my ten bags to the sound of much bickering in some foreign tongue amongst the staff.

Surely maths is maths, whatever the mother tongue of the shop staff? I remember a talk by an astronomer where he said that if aliens did ever make contact with us, mathematics would likely to be the only way humanity would have initially to communicate with them. But with these cases, makes you wonder if we're the aliens... just because we can count... Just as well we're not using imperial measurements any more - imagine the trouble these people would have with multiplying/dividing by 12/14/16 etc.

Autocar Publicity wrote:Surely maths is maths, whatever the mother tongue of the shop staff? I remember a talk by an astronomer where he said that if aliens did ever make contact with us, mathematics would likely to be the only way humanity would have initially to communicate with them. But with these cases, makes you wonder if we're the aliens... just because we can count... Just as well we're not using imperial measurements any more - imagine the trouble these people would have with multiplying/dividing by 12/14/16 etc.

You're lucky we're not still in pre-decimal days and your coal wasn't 19/6d a bag! I wonder how long it would've taken them to work out the cost of ten bags then (£9/15/-)?

Autocar think yourself lucky I have to use three different standards of weights and measures in my line of work (Metric, Imp and US) and I still have the young lad asking me how many cwts in a tonne.
I don't know if they still mention Imperial measurements in maths classes today. I actually sat down with the youngster at work and went through the Imperial system and then related it to the metric system and I believe he has got a reasonable chance of understanding it now. I deliberately didn't go through the US system until we get some American kit to work on as that would only confuse him.

Sorry George, but I do use three: imperial, metric and Yorkshire. For those unfortunate souls not familiar with the latter, a brief induction...

Smallest of all is a ‘whisker’. Five of these make up a ‘smidgen’ and two smidgens equal a ‘hint’, except in West Yorkshire where a hint is three smidgens. In the case of liquids, a ‘hint’ translates to 0.7 of a ‘drop’. And four drops are a ‘dash’. (Unless we're talking beer, when a drop equates to a pint). Three hints make an ‘inkling’ and six a ‘trace’. Twelve hints (or four inklings) constitute a ‘touch’. Five touches equal a ’bit’ and half a bit is a ‘trifle’. Ten bits equal a ‘way’, or only six in the case of older people, especially ex-railwaymen. A way is sometimes referred to as ‘quite a bit’. Quite simple really…

I suspect that in today's classrooms, neither imperial nor Yorkshire measurements are mentioned, belonging to the 'bad old days'. But I know there's quite a few folk still use imperial, including for official documents. I'm mixed up, I'll use all three, often in the same sentence... I think in miles and inches but will use grams & millilitres for cooking or precise measurements in modelling.

Mr Bunt wrote:You're lucky we're not still in pre-decimal days and your coal wasn't 19/6d a bag! I wonder how long it would've taken them to work out the cost of ten bags then (£9/15/-)?

That's simple, it's when you have to do sums such as dividing 31 and seven eighths inches by three (without using pencil and paper) that you start pulling faces...

I think I have mentioned it before but there is also the "Firkin"
Often used in multiples of two.
Can be used for Weights - 2 Firkin Heavy
Lengths - 2 Firkin short
Volume - 2 Firkin big

Hahahaha!
Like it - especially the Yorkshire units of measurement, but you missed the "gnats' whisker" which is about half (some say a quarter!) the usual whisker.


When restoring carriages, we work in imperial - but although timber is ordered to match, it is priced by using metric units.
Fortunately, our normal hardwood supplier is quite happy to supply "as specified".....